smokeless anxiety...

Happy Valentines!

2006-02-14T11:33:00.000+08:00

http://graciellehernandez.multiply.com/journal. follow this link to read my new blog entry for my birthday!

2005-09-15T05:56:00.000+08:00

You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it..

2005-09-09T17:16:00.000+08:00

Lord,

Take away all my tears, I'm tired of crying..

Take away my memory so I won't remember all that happened last year..

Take away my heart so I won't feel any pain..

2005-06-26T12:38:00.000+08:00

I hope you can give me time..

2005-05-18T16:13:00.000+08:00

If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies they will cease: where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away... and now these things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

--1 Corinthians 13:1-8, 13

--February 14, 2005

214

2005-05-15T10:24:00.000+08:00

Am I real? Do the words I speak before you make you feel,
that the love I lay for you will see no ending?

Well if you look into my eyes then you should know,
that there is nothing here to doubt, nothing to fear,
and you can lay your questions down ‘cause if you’ll hold me
we can fade into the night and you’ll know

The world could die, and everything may lie,
Still you shant cry
‘Cause time may pass, but longer than it’ll last
I’ll be by your side

Take my hand, and gently close your eyes so you could understand
that there’s no greater love tonight than what I’ve for you,
Well, if you feel the same way for me, than let go
We can journey to a garden no one knows.
Life is short my darling tell me that you love me
So we could fade into the night and you’ll know…

The world could die, and everything may lie,
Still you shant cry
‘Cause time may pass, and everything wont last
But I’ll be by your side,
Forever by your side,
So you wont cry

Goodbye..

2005-04-23T21:56:00.000+08:00

GOODBYE TO YOU
Michelle Branch

Of all the things I've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
Tears form behind my eyes,
But I do not cry,
Counting the days that pass me by.

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul,
Words that I'm hearin' are starting to get old,
It feels like I'm starting all over again,
The last three years (or 8 months) were just pretend,
And I say-

*Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to.

I still get lost in your eyes,
And it seems that I can't live a day without you,
Closing my eyes,
And you chase my thoughts away,
To a place where I am blinded by the light,
But it's not right.

*Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
The one thing that I tried to hold on to.

Hold on to...
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,

I want what's yours and I want what's mine,
I want you,
And I'm not giving in this time.

*Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
The one thing that I tried to hold on to-
Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one I loved,
The one thing that I tried to hold on to.

Oh, oh woah,
And when the stars fall I will lie awake,
You're my shooting star.

Christmas Wishlist!

2004-12-15T02:28:00.000+08:00

1. PALM ZIRE 72.. waah! ang tagal ko nang hinihintay to!
2. Cellphone na clamshell design.. kahit walang camera basta wag masyado malaki
3. Cap na pwede gamitin for tennis..
4. Tennis Racquet.. ( pero ok lang.. ayos pa naman ung last kong racquet e!)
5. Sana ma-sweep ng tapat ang CBE next term!
6. Sana magkatrabaho nako.. hehe!
7. Sana forever... ... ... (haha secret!)
8. Cd ng rivermaya
9. Cd ng dreamsounds 2
10. earphones na masarap sa tenga!
11. Lemon cake na super sarap un nga lang I don't know the name and kung saan nabibili!
12. shoes?!? (size 71/2 or 8 hehehe!)

*Eto talaga ung super gusto ko.. Pero mas maganda pa rin kung original ung gift and masusurprise ako dba! hehe.. :D

2004-12-06T19:42:00.000+08:00

Don't know who the hell this is..

2004-12-06T19:19:00.000+08:00

Got this one from Yummy's blog

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/images/jeangrey.jpgTo link it (the actual code):

2004-11-25T23:35:00.000+08:00

Best College! Right after GE.. I miss you guys!

2004-11-25T23:34:00.000+08:00

Hay.. I miss you guys!

2004-11-25T00:11:00.000+08:00

Tapat peeps at my grad party!

My song

2004-09-12T19:05:00.000+08:00

I could not ask for more
Edwin Mccaine

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
These are the moments I know heaven must exist
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than the love you give me
'Coz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more

lost.wasted.broken..

2004-09-12T10:50:00.000+08:00

Human beings because of all the complications in our everyday lives are often faced with dilemmas. The hardest is when you are facing a choice between being happy or being right.. Guess this is the hardest decision I could ever face in my life. And guess what I chose.. yes I chose to be right and every now and then I think about it hoping that I chose to be happy.. I guess sometimes being right is not enough anymore but when you think of it, being happy wouldn't be enough for you to feel content because at the back of your mind you know for a fact that you are just being selfish because you know that things won't work because its not right.. Ever since, when I'm faced with this dilemma I always chose to be right and I guess this is the reason why I haven't really been happy.. But if you make this choice when facing the biggest decision ever, you get tired of being right.. Sometimes you just want to be wrong and be happy. I guess I'm just fed up of everything I've been up to in my life and now I realize that I've never been really happy because I'm afraid to be wrong.. I guess I really am not a risk taker. I consider the long-term effects of things and overanalyze stuff and end up thinking that everything I do is wrong so I have to go back again.. I'm getting tired of this. And for once in my life I want to be happy.. But guess what.. I can't..

Questions and Answers II

2004-09-05T11:14:00.000+08:00

Another set of questions and answers. This time I got this from my friend carmina..

Part 1: Basics
x.NICKNAME - Grace, Caie
x.GENDER -female
x.BIRTHDATE - february 14 1984
x.WHERE DO YOU LIVE - las pinas
x.FIRST CRUSH - I can't remember
x.WHATS YOUR SIGN - aquarius
x.WHATS THE FIRST IMPRESSION OFYOU - mayabang daw

Part 2: Food
x.MCDONALDS OR BURGER KING- Mcdonalds
x.COKE OR PEPSI - coke
x.ROOT BEER OR CALI - rootbeer
x.TEA OR COFFEE - coffee
x.VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE - vanilla
x.CAKE OR PIE - cake

Part 3: Pick one
x.MARRY PERFECT FRIEND OR PERFECTLOVER - perfect friend
x.CATS OR DOG - dog
x.1 PILLOW OR 2 - 2
x.W/ OR W/O ICE - with ice
x.TOP OR BOTTOM - top
x.WINTER, SPRING, SUMMER OR FALL- spring
x.SKIING OR BOARDING - skiing
x.BIKING OR BLADING - biking
x.ROCK/RAP/R&B/PUNK/ALT/SKA/TECHNO/SWING - r&b
x.VEST OR MITTENS - vest
x.DRESSED OR UNDRESSED - depends
x.BUNK OR WATER BED - water bed
x.MAKE PLANS OR GO ALONG - sometimes make plans sometimes go along
x.TRUTH OR DARE - dare
x.MTV OR VH1 - mtv
x.OCEAN OR POOL - pool
x.SHOWERS OR BATHS - baths
x.BLIND OR DEAF - deaf

Part 4: Favorites
x.COLOR - maroonish red
x.NUMBER - 8 and 23
x.SUBJECT - law... especially constitutional law...hehe
x.SHOE BRAND/s - anything as long as its comfortable
x.SPORT- tennis
x.DRINK - kool aid strawberry
x.ANIMAL - dogs
x.HOLIDAY - valentines...hehe
x.FAVORITE LINE FROM A MOVIE - magiisip muna ako..
x.BAND - vertical horizon
x.MOVIE - Italian Job, Identity and Hercules...hahaha!
x.TV SHOW - Friends, The practice and C.S.I.
x.PLACE TO CHILL - wherever as long as I can sleep..hehe
x.FLOWER - gerberas
x.PERFUME - clinique happy

Part 5: Would you?
x.MOVE ANYWHERE - yes
x.DYE YOUR HAIR - depends
x.MEET ONE FAMOUS PERSON - sure
x.LIVE WITH ONE PERSON FOR THERESTOF YOUR LIFE - oo naman
x.NAME ONE PERSON YOU LOVE - Don't have to name that person.. alam na nya un!
x.NAME ONE THING THAT EMBARRASSES YOU - tinted glass windows..haha..akala mo tinted!
x.DO YOU LIKE SCHOOL - yup...pero I don't like unreasonable and feeling professors
x.DO YOU LIKE TALKING ON THE PHONE - depende kung cno kausap

Smoking

2004-09-02T22:15:00.002+08:00

Smoking was my favorite thing to do before. Actually that was the only thing I take seriously.. I used to do it a lot.. Anytime I feel that I'm not doing anything (which is most of the time by the way) I smoke. I vent out all my anxieties by smoking (hence the title of this blog). And it was just recently that I trimmed down my yosi intake. From about half pack a day, I'm down to 1 stick every after two days.. And that is subject to my bestfriend's approval pa ha! Actually now, I haven't taken yosi for about a week and 5 days na! Grabe.. and I'm doing this because of some insane reason.. Pero everytime I think about it, a lot of people already asked me to quit before and I didn't.. I think because I can't. I'm too much hooked to it that saying "no" to it would mean that I would be depriving myself of the thing I enjoy the most. I don't know why now that I find it easy not to smoke when before I can't even bear to think of not smoking.. I can't even believe that when Nic asked me to stop I said "sure" right away! Trimming it down was hard.. There was a time when I tried to quit right away I had head aches and I always feel like vomitting.. I think its what you call "withdrawal syndrome", when your body is adjusting to the sudden changes in your habits. Then I thought of not really stopping but trimming it down to 1 stick every other day.. This was more effective coz I think that my body can adjust much better if I still take it sometimes. Now, I miss my yosi friends coz that was the reason why we hang out a lot. I had a lot of really interesting and cool conversations over yosi. When I think of it, I really don't understand why I'm trimming it down and why I can trim it down now. I think that it really is because I really wanted to stop and that I realize that I'm better off smoking.. and the most important reason is because someone is helping me to quit.. I'm not saying that I'll be 100% yosi free from now on coz that would be too hard but I'm getting there..

Questions and Answers

2004-09-02T07:46:00.000+08:00

Ayan wala ako magawa so magsasagot nalang ako nito! (Nakuha ko to sa blog ni Kar..haha! thanks Kar..)

x. name: >>Gracielle
x. birthday: >> February 14, 1984
x. piercings: >> 3
x. tattoos: >> none yet..hehe
x. height: >> 5'2
x. shoe size: >>8 sometimes 8 1/2
x. hair color: >> Black
x. length: >> Short now pero I usually have long hair
x. pets: >> Dogs
x. motto:>> Its better to be late than never...haha!

LAST...
x. movie you watched :>> The Notebook
x. movie you bought : >> 50 first dates
X. song you listened to : >> dreamsounds na cd..I forgot the song e..
x. song you had stuck in your head:>> wala...haha
x. person you've called: >> Nic
x. person that called you : >> Nic
x. person you talked to online: >> Yummy
x. time you dyed your hair: >> Never
x. time you took pictures: >> Rico Blanco and Gisela haha..tagal na pala
x. person you were thinking of : >> Secret..alam na nya na cia un..haha
x. time you have a crush on someone : >> marami akong crush e..
x. you believe in online dating : >> No
x. others find you attractive : >> Ewan
x. you drink : >> occasionally
x. you smoke: >> used to..Konti nalang now..
x. you like cleaning : >> wash dishes lang
x. you write in cursive or print : >> print
x. you carry a donor card : >> no

F O R // A G A I N S T...
x. long distance relationships:>> Pwede If you really love the person and love ka rin nya
x. singsomeone : >> Ewan
x. suicide : >> depends
x. killing people : >> depends pa rin
x. doing drugs : >> depends pa rin..hehe! I believe that they should legalize marijuana
x. premarital sex : >> for IF they really love each other and stable na cla sa mga buhay nila..
x. driving drunk : >> Against

C H O O S E O N E:
x. black/white: >> black..coz it is in the darkness that light shines the brightest..haha!
x. bf or gf/ friends: >> basta friends
x. morning/night: >> night
x. pool/jacuzzi: >> pool
x. britney/christina: >> Christina
x. sunlight/moonlight: >> moonlight
x. short hair/long hair: >> depende sa mood ko
x. song : >> mag iisip muna ako
x. thing/s to do : >> watch movie
x. candy: >> mentos
x. drink : >> kool aid strawberry..haha..parang bata..
x. pastime :>> reading..watching tv
x. brand for clothes :>> any as long as comfortable suotin
x. brand for jeans :>> any parin as long as tama ung fit and comfortable suotin
x. buy clothes at:>> Mall...malamang
x. buy shoes at:>> Mall pa rin malamang
x. turn back time:>> Huwaaat??? ang labo naman nito
x. go to:>> Switzerland
x. be with:>> Alam na nya kung sino cia
x: to be :>> Lawyer or tennis player or C.S.I. haha!

H A V E Y O U E V E R...
x. cried over a girl/guy : >> Yup
x. caught your bf/gf cheating:>> Nope
x. lied to someone : >> Yes
x. been in a fist fight / arrested: >> No

WHAT...
x. shampoo do you use : >> Pantene or Ivory
x. facial wash : >> Clean and Clear
x. beauty product you cant live without :>> basta facial wash lang..
x. are you scared of : >> Losing someone I can't live without

N U M B E R...
x. of times I have had my heart broken? >> I'm not sure
x. of hearts I have broken? >> Nde ko rin sure..
x. of boys/girls I have kissed? : >> I don't count
x. of drugs taken illegally? >> Don't count rin..hehe
x. of people I would classify as true friends: >> marami rami e!
x. of people I consider my enemies? : >> ewan ko..
x. of cd's that I own?: >> nde ko alam

W H A T.P O P S.I N.Y O U R.H E A D..
x. banana: >> yellow
x. backstreet boys: >> 10 thousand promises haha
x. fingers: >> long
x. parrot: >> maingay
x. green: >> DLSU
x. red : >> maroon
x. sleep: >>> narcoleptic

Cool

2004-08-26T12:14:00.000+08:00

Coolest day ever! Classes was suspended because of a typhoon...Hehe. Buti nalang! This is a wild day.. Pero masaya.. Actually, I dont know how to say it but its really cool.. Haha, labo ba? Talagang malabo...

Perfect

2004-08-24T22:12:00.000+08:00

This day was PERFECT.... Although I haven't had any sleep yet. I took my final exam in Intphil and I got a perfect score...whew, that was close. One subject down, 3 more to go.. After that a more perfect thing happened to me, but I won't write it down coz it's something personal...haha! I hope days like these would come more often.. I love this day.. Labo ba? Pasensya na, nde talaga pwede..

Pride..

2004-08-24T08:12:00.000+08:00

Had a bad start of the day. Buti nalang we worked it out. Everything's ok na ulit. I can't believe I have so much pride. Maybe coz sometimes I believe pride is all I've got left and I should hang on to it coz without it I don't have anything anymore. I fail to see that sometimes pride makes me build a wall around myself. I make harsh and irrational decisions because of pride. Pride causes me to push other people away. People I can't live without. Buti nalang they don't give up on me. Buti nalang they make me feel that they are important to me and that I love them no matter what and that I really can't live without them. Sana there won't come a time that I'll be too consumed of my pride that I'll eventually hurt people that I love and they won't want to be with me anymore. They'll get tired of me and my stupid pride. Sorry...Hope it won't happen again...

P.S. I've learned something very telenovela--ish "It doesn't make any difference...It makes all the difference"

Drama ng blog ko no...Pasensya! :)

Finals Week

2004-08-23T14:40:00.000+08:00

Yes, this day would be the start of the Finals week. The week that would determine if i'll graduate or not. Grabe, this week will measure what I'm really made of. I hope I graduate, I really do. Now I'm pouring my anxieties. Too bad I can't smoke. hmmm.... I guess that's it.

Of Weird but Memorable Days

2004-08-22T10:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a cool day! We watcbed the Terminal at Nic's house. There was supposed to be a meeting but it was cancelled. The Terminal is a good movie, although I didn't understand it coz I was concentrating on something else, haha! Anyway, I really enjoyed my day yesterday even though a lot of weird but memorable things happened. I spent some quality time with my bestfriend Nic (Hey nic, my blog's about you parati). Hey I don't even know why I called this blog smokeless anxiety, I don't even feel my anxieties when I post here. Anyway, I hope more of days like these would happen to me. haha! That's it. Until next time.

The Village

2004-08-15T14:48:00.001+08:00

Cool Day! I spent the whole day with my bestfriend Nic...I watched two movies, Spiderman at Nic's house and The Village at powerplant with TG, Yum, Tin and Nic. The Village is about a village haunted by the creatures outside of the boundaries of the village. The idea is not so original coz I've already heard stories like that but when you see it as a film you'll find it very interesting. I liked the movie because of its twist. The twist of the story is mind-boggling it reminds me of movies like Identity, Mystic River and Sixth Sense. TG and Tin didn't like the movie that much because they expected a suspense-thriller movie. Nic thought it was ok. I liked the movie and so does Yum. All in all this was a fun day. Great opportunity to release the stress I've been having for the past month. :)

P.S. According to The Village this is a BAD COLOR...haha!